Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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