You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
