Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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