i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
