shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize