he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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