Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
