I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize