i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
