Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize