so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
