Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
