I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
