I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize