all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize