you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize