I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
