I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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