she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
