im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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