how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
