it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
