I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.