She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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