I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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