Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
