hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
