ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
