I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
my poor anus
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
