this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
