Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
