Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
