i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
