you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize