I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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