i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
