Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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