Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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