What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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