8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
