I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
