He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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