I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
