if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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