strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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