Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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