Kiss
Puke
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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