I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
