he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
