I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
