So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
