I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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