yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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