Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
