she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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