I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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