Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Green mimosas i think yes
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
