uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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