New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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