you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize