People in love make me want to vomit
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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