I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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